On the Election of Scott Brown

Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown

Emily tilted her head back and glanced out the windows of the library, before she began to read her textbook for her Political Economy of Democracy class. Ah, to be back at Wash U.. Emily thought to herself, as she highlighted the major tenets of that night’s assigned reading. She had truly enjoyed vacationing with her parents in Aspen over winter break, but now, as the last remnants of snow melted in St. Louis, Emily Porter was more than ready to return to her coursework. As a second semester junior, there was so much that needed to be done. Application deadlines for summer internships, choosing a topic for her senior thesis, and, of course, Relay for Life, would all be keeping her busy for a while. Seated bolt upright in one of the study cubicles on the second floor of the library, Emily thought she was in for an afternoon of productive activity and efficacious reading.

It soon became apparent this would not be possible when Kasper Tracy stormed into the cubicle, his eyes blazing as he dropped into the seat next to Emily and glared at her with unnecessary malice. “Well, I hope you’re happy,” he snapped, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Why shouldn’t I be, look what Daddy gave me for Christmas,” she squealed, flashing her large diamond ring on her right hand. “The question is: why aren’t you?”

“Two words,” said Kasper. “Scott Brown. Why the hell did my state elect a porn star? I mean, it’s Massachusetts! How did Ted Kennedy’s seat go to a Republican? It’s disgraceful!”

“Tsk, tsk, Kasper. Your state finally does something sensible and, you are complaining. I personally think Scott Brown is just the change your state needs, and it certainly foreshadows the change of course that the country is going to take in the midterm elections. Mark you me, Democrat, we Republicans are back in business.”

“You left the business for a reason, and that reason is the Bush administration,” said Kasper. “I’m not saying that Obama’s perfect, but the last thing our country needs right now is another Republican complaining in the Senate. We lost a crucial seat, and now, any progress is going to slow down. Health care, foreign policy, immigration- there will just be even more conflict and no consensus, now that there’s a 41st Republican.”

Emily bowed her head and said solemnly, “Ah Dubya, may he rest in peace.” Raising her head, she looked into Kasper’s reflective brown eyes and met his serious gaze. Clearly, she would get no reading done now and so she decisively closed her textbook. “Don’t blame us for a lack of progress. The Democrats had a filibuster proof sixty seats and a president from your own party and all you managed to do with all that unchecked power is bankrupt the treasury with your stimulus this and bailout that. Well, now you’ve lost your chance.. to do more harm that is. You know it’s a sad day for Democrats when Massachusetts goes red.” Over the top of the cubicles, curious eyes looked up from their textbooks and in the direction of the contentious couple.

“Massachusetts would never go red!” said Kasper, aghast. “Take that back! And, look, Miss Republican, I’ve sent and received so many Bush-bashing birthday cards that the subject is stale, but please remember that Obama is not the one who killed the economy, which, by the way, will slowly improve. Let me also mention that the administration that you claim has done ‘nothing’ has passed a health care reform bill quite far, and will only continue to work at it until reform does happen. And you cannot complain about any national debt when Scott Brown insists that we cut government funding by cutting taxes to those who don’t need it!”

A girl with thick glasses shushed them over the top of her MCAT study book.  Kasper rolled his eyes back at her and muttered something under his breath about doctors destroying the health care bill.

“Kasper, calm down. Do remember this is the library. You could at least pretend to be in here seeking an education like some of us. And as for Massachusetts, open your eyes. This was not some state senate election. This was the election to replace the great Ted Kennedy- even my people revere him. If a Republican was elected, it shows that Massachusetts already has gone red. And federal revenues will be increased under Scott’s suggestions, because though we are letting people keep their tax dollars, which they should, we would also eliminate earmarks and porkbarrel spending. Brown took the seat with a decisive 52 to 47 percentile vote, which has to tell you something. Not even Obama’s win was that decisive.”

Kasper could hardly believe his ears. “You call 52-47 decisive? That’s nothing! That means that 48% did not vote for him! That’s hardly decisive. And since it was a state election, the numbers to Obama don’t even compare. And there is no way that Brown will be able to lower taxes without also lowering federal revenues. Earmarks aren’t an addition to taxes, they’re a component! No, but Brown is all about lowering the banks’ taxes- hey, why not give them another break?”

Emily flipped her thick brown curls and looked away. Admittedly, numbers and taxes weren’t her forte. “So let me ask you this: If you were home to vote, would you have voted for Coakley?”

“One, I did vote, it’s something called an absentee ballot. Two, of course I voted for Coakley. What, did you think I went Libertarian? Three, what kind of a question is that? When it comes to the Senate, what matters is majority, not who looks better in Cosmo.”

“Well excuse me, but I didn’t take you for a straight ticket Democrat. I certainly prefer him to Coakley, but he’s a bit of a stretch, even for me. I like my Republicans with a certain level of preservation for the old ways of life. And you Bay State residents are schizophrenic! You first elect Romney and now Brown, anymore of this and you guys will be flip-flopping more than my state of Missouri.”

“Look, there are Republicans in Massachusetts,” said Kasper.”And independents. Romney is insane, and not the only Republican governor, painful as that is to admit. And, as much as I hate to say it, because I don’t want a Republican senator any more than I want to know what colors are ‘in’ for spring, Brown is considered ‘socially liberal.’ If we had to elect a Republican, at least it wasn’t another Romney. I mean, it’s not like he’s about to swap parties, not with his seriously flawed economic mindset, but when it comes to social issues like abortion, I can actually understand where he’s coming from.”

Emily grimaced slightly as she pondered Brown’s social stances. “You know, one would have thought that Ted Kennedy’s state would want to see to it that nothing further inhibits health care legislation. But seeing as how you guys already have a comprehensive health care package, you could care less what happens in Congress. If you want to complain, I’m not the person to do it to Kasper. Massachusetts gave up on ol’ Teddy’s dream simply on a political whim. You can hardly blame the opposition party for taking an in where it sees it.”

Neighboring students had begun to take unkindly to Kasper and Emily’s relentless and unquieted discussion. Not only did they receive harsh glares and shushes that fell on deaf ears, but one engineering student even went so far as to mutter, “Damn all artsci students!” The MCAT girl was even threatening to report them to the front desk.

“I’d better go,” said Kasper. He sprung to his feet and strode out of the library, still muttering to himself. Emily distinctly heard the words conservative, unbelievable, and forty-one.

Emily could not keep herself from smiling. For once, she felt as if she had won a decisive victory, not her over Kasper, but her party over the axis of domestic evil. Just as she was about to reopen her polisci textbook, the MCAT girl asked her rather rudely, “Aren’t you leaving too?”

Sweetly, Emily asked, “Would you like me to?”

“As you have no respect for the sanctity of the library, yes.” She glared at Emily over the top of her cubicle and pounded her highlighter on the top of her desk. There was a general murmur of agreement amongst the wing.

“Hmmm,” said Emily, feigning consideration, “then no.” She reopened her polisci textbook and fervently resumed her reading.

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