Spin Till You Win: Chapter 3
Strategy Memo
Author: Andrew Ellicot
Topic: Extended Summer Effect Discussion
The climate debate is over. The implementation of the term Extended Summer Effect has been a huge success. Our initial response dominated coverage in the news, with an effective presentation. Continued use of the term will guarantee victory in the debate over the issue, and a swift end to Democrats attempts to pass a climate bill. All members of Congress should continue to exclusively use the term Extended Summer Effect in discussion, and reiterate our previous talking points. In the unlikely event that President Warren and Congressional Democrats do not abandon their pursuit of a climate bill, your first priority in amendments should be to replace all uses of the term ‘global warming’ and ‘climate change’ with ‘the Extended Summer Effect.’
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Walking past the Capitol, Andrew Ellicott squinted in the sun. He felt a buzzing against his chest and pulled his blackberry out of his jacket pocket. The screen read “Senator Tim Thompson,” next to a picture of the Senate Majority Leader grinning goofily and holding up a hammer. Republicans liked to call him “The Hammer” because of his tough reputation for pounding legislation through the Senate. Democrats supported the nickname because they agreed that Thompson certainly was a complete tool.
“Senator Thompson, how are you?”
“Very well, Andy. I wanted to call and congratulate you on a job well done.”
Ellicott grinned like a kid with candy.
“I’m sure the session will be easier without the climate bill to worry about, Senator.”
“This will certainly help us kill it.”
Ellicott stopped, somewhat confused. He wiped a smear of sweat off his brow.
“It’s already killed. We won the term, we won the issue.”
“I support your optimism Andy, but do you really think it’s that simple?”
Ellicott squealed out a laugh. “It doesn’t matter what you’re saying Senator, the only thing that matters is how you say it. Americans would support burning the Bill of Rights if you could make it sound patriotic. It’s all about labeling. Global warming is depressing and gloomy. The Extended Summer Effect is bright and exciting. Who do you think the public will support?”
CONNOLLY: I’m Matthew Connolly, welcome back to Red v. Blue. The public supports Republicans on the Extended Summer Effect issue by a two-to-one majority according to a new Gallup poll released today. We’ve got strategist John Calhoun and former Congressman Oliver Williams here. Gentlemen, your thoughts on the poll.
CALHOUN: Now Matt, President Warren and the Democrats understand that the importance of the global warmin’ issue is far too important to be determined by a single poll –
WILLIAMS: John, it’s not just the poll and you know it. There’s been a huge outcry of support. In the last three days members of Congress from all across the country have been receiving tens of thousands of letter from children who go to summer camp, asking them to vote against the President’s bill. What would you say to them, John?
CALHOUN: Oliver, you know –
WILLIAMS: What would you say to the children?
CONNOLLY: Now John, there’s been a lot of speculation about this piece of legislation, now being referred to the anti-Extended Summer Effect bill. It was expected to be released this week, but these recent events seemed to have caused a delay. When do you think the President’s bill will be put before Congress?
CALHOUN: [Sighs] Matt, President Warren will put the bill forward when it’s complete and effective. I’m not sure exactly when that will be, but I know he won’t rush it for partisan purposes. His intent is to create a bill that will have the greatest positive impact on the country.
CONNOLLY: Alright, well that’s all the time we have. I’d like to thank my guests John Calhoun and Oliver Williams. Stated tuned right now for tonight’s “What’s Wrong With America” and tune in tomorrow for another edition of Red v. Blue. I’m Matthew Connolly, goodnight.
“And we’re off. That’s a wrap.”
Calhoun grabbed his blackberry out of his pocket and shouted to Connolly, who was quickly walking off the set while mumbling about makeup.
“Hey Matt, you can’t use the words ‘global warming’ anymore? Phrase seem antiquated to ya’?”
Connolly turned with a shrug.
“Come on John, we use polling the same as you. Our viewers like the Extended Summer Effect.”
Calhoun sighed as Connolly waked off, then looked at Williams with a raised eyebrow.
“What would ya’ say to the children?”
Williams – clicking away at his own blackberry – laughed, “Oh come on, J.C. You know you would do the same thing.”
Calhoun chuckled, “Yeah, I bet I would. Fuckin’ summer campers.”
“There’s not going to be a climate bill, is there?”
Calhoun gave a quick glance around to check who was in hearing distance and that his mic was not active.
“Nah, there’s not.”
“Who’s taking the heat?”
“There’s enough to go around, but Alex Ramirez got most of it. The President sacked him this mornin’.” Calhoun leaned back in his chair, “We’ve got to get ridda’ Weinstein.”
“You and Paulson won Warren the election by grabbing the middle ground and controlling the media. Weinstein’s sloppy, and incapable of doing either. The President will listen to you two over Weinstein soon enough.”
Calhoun stared at the desk in front of them and said nothing.
“So, since the global warming debate is dead, what’s next on the legislative agenda?”
“We’re gonna to go through a couple crowd pleasers then move to education fundin’.”
Williams smiled.
“Wait till you hear what we’re going to call that.”