A Great Education
Gender socialization occurs in many ways, but perhaps the most profound socialization occurs in school. From the earliest stages, children create their own sets of norms, values, and expectations and, most importantly, enforce them. (For more on gender norms, see my column from a few weeks ago.) Little girls learn what modes of expression are appropriate for girls and boys do the same for more “masculine” behaviors. Those who step outside of gender boundaries risk the wrath of their peers until they behave in a more appropriate manner. (To be fair, not all gender-inappropriate behaviors are censured—in kindergarten I lead a very successful insurrection to allow girls to play in the all-boys block area.)
However, children don’t solely develop these notions of gender from each others’ influence. Much of it comes from their parents and the media, to be sure, but teachers also play a large role in determining how children view gender. Unfortunately, many teachers are unaware of the messages they’re projecting on to their students and how adept children are at picking up these hidden messages. Boys are more likely to be praised for correct answers, even if they’re out of turn, while girls are rewarded for being quiet, neat, and well-behaved. The reinforcement is clear: academic achievement is for boys and good behavior for girls. Indeed, it’s been postulated that the root cause of girls’ lower scores in math is that teachers project their anxieties onto girls, which then creates a self-fulfilling prophesy of failure.
In one spectacularly fascinating study by Spencer and Steele (1992), Asian women were split into two groups, both of whom were given a math test. One group was primed with reinforcement of their Asian identity, playing upon the stereotype that because they were Asian, they should do well on the test. The other group was reminded of their gender identity and the notion that, as women, they may not do very well because math is certainly not women’s forte. The disparity in overall scores was astounding, though both groups showed very similar baseline scores before the study commenced. Clearly expectations and gender stereotypes have a dominant role in the way that we behave.
That said, it’s one thing to be aware of how girls acquire gender socialization; it’s quite another thing to change it. I experienced this myself as a middle school teacher for Breakthrough Cambridge, a nonprofit that runs educational enrichment programs for low-income, high-achieving students. My classes had a pretty even gender split, but even in seventh and eighth grade those gender norms had taken hold long ago. The boys in my class were willing to call out answers, no matter how ridiculous, while many of the girls spent the entire class in silence, paralyzed in fear of giving a wrong answer or breaking the rules.
I was stuck—on the one hand, I wanted to offer these girls positive praise to build their confidence so that they would actually participate, but on the other hand, what should I praise? If I were to praise their good behavior or neat handwriting, I would only be reinforcing those norms and we would make no progress. In the end, I did what I do best—smothered them with positive reinforcement and some sarcastic comments until they ended up participating, and then continued the cycle of reinforcement from there. Not only did it help the girls’ confidence, participation, and retention of information, it made the boys step up their game, too.
While it’s unlikely that gender norms will change anytime soon, the important thing is to be aware of the impact that they have upon our lives and how we perpetuate these gendered expectations. Particularly for those who have contact with children, be aware of the messages you’re sending—they’re learning a lot more from them than you think.