Worst. Socialist. Ever.

These past three years were supposed to be the best ever. Things hadn’t been going well for us socialists since the fall of the Berlin Wall, but Barack Obama was supposed to bring us back to greatness. If President Obama is indeed a socialist, I must declare him the worst socialist ever.

I was excited at the prospect of a socialist president. I expected big things quickly—perhaps too quickly. Perhaps Obama is waiting until his second term to start his entire socialist plan. Government jobs are being cut at a record rate—this socialist president is so bad at being a socialist that there are now fewer and fewer people working for the government. If that wasn’t bad enough, private employment is rising at the same time. At this rate, Obama will be remembered as a centrist president and not the socialist he is. He needs to fire whichever advisers are destroying his legacy like this.

While Obama’s jobs record disappoints a socialist like myself, nothing is worse than his botching of health care. I believed—I really did—that with this man at the helm we could finally institute a socialist healthcare program in this country. It would be a huge expansion of the federal government! There would be no more private providers of health care! Instead, Obama capitulated and a free market system won out. Now, instead of a government takeover of health care, we have a system that doesn’t allow insurance companies to drop coverage when people get sick. We got a system set up to mimic Mitt Romney’s Massachusetts health care system. I don’t care that over 60% of people in Massachusetts support their system: it didn’t go far enough. If the best Obama could do is an individual mandate originally thought up by the conservative Heritage Foundation and supported as recently as 2009 by Newt Gingrich, then the president has failed as a socialist.

There are many more reasons why Obama is the worst socialist ever. At one point, the government had a controlling share of General Motors. The government owned one of the country’s largest companies, and instead of keeping it, it sold off the shares. The government now owns less than half the company. Even worse, the largest component of the stimulus package Obama passed at the beginning of his presidency was an enormous tax cut.

At this moment Obama has a perilous path in front of him. If he wants history to show him as the socialist many claim he is, he must stop lowering taxes. He must stop cutting government jobs. He must set up panels that decides who gets Advil and who gets stuck with the CVS generics. The Republicans promised us hope. They promised us a man hell-bent on enlarging the government. They led us to believe that we elected a man who hated businesses, who loved to raise taxes and then roll around in all that extra cash on his bed with a giant portrait of Mao Zedong right above. Instead we got a man who encourages businesses to grow, who offers billions in tax cuts, and offers free market solutions to our health care challenges. We voted with our hearts and ended up with the worst socialist ever.