Grow a Pair

I disappoint myself every time I say “grow some balls.” Every time I cannot believe the words are exiting my mouth, each time I internally furrow my brow and wonder why I needed to express my sentiment in that way, why I couldn’t alter my diction to adhere to what I actually stand for. I hate when someone says she needs to “sack up” and I cringe when others tell him not to “be a pussy.” I’d be hard-pressed to find someone who has never said something like this. It’s truly remarkable that genitalia have been incorporated into common diction, that we have assigned courage and cowardice to each biological sex. We berate the phrase, “you fight like a girl” yet we let this sexist metonymy flow through our conversations with few repercussions. “Pussy” is not just a sex organ.

It is uniquely feminine and as such, stands in for the entire female, just as “balls” signify masculinity. The distinct contrast between the surrounding context of both “balls” and “pussy” underscores the phrases’ embedded sexism. Have you ever heard “pussy up?” or “don’t be a ballsack” in an emasculating way? That’s why when Refingery29 posted the image on the right on Instagram I smiled.

With the back of this denim jacket, the wearer reclaims and destabilizes our lexicon. “Grow a pair” transforms from testicles to fallopian tubes. The presumably female wearer does not reject the existence of these phrases, but subverts them – cheekily highlighting the error of their ways.

Recently, I’ve found myself hyperbolically raising my pointer finger and saying “gendered!” clumsily attempting to use humor to glaze over the fact I actually find certain phrases offensive.  I straddle the amorphous line between “feminazi” and “cool girl” – at once uncomfortable with letting the expression pass and unwilling to break the spell of relaxed conversation with a linguistic critique. That’s why I love this jacket. It does both without doing either. It maintains the fun of popular lingo and embraces free speech, but by turning “grow a pair” on its head the jacket elevates the phrase above sexist quagmire. While it’s certainly a conversation starter, it’s not a conversation ender. With the ongoing tension between those who view political correctness as policing and those who enthusiastically enforce it, those of us who see “grow a pair” and its siblings as problematic certainly can’t afford the latter.

Keeping the big picture in mind I’d gravitate towards and advocate for more outspoken feminists at Washington University and beyond. Demanding this of every student, though, would be a near-sighted tactic. Varying levels of extroversion, assertiveness, and comfort produce a wide spectrum of personalities that can lead to a multi-faceted feminist environment. It is crucial to parallel this with different forms of action in order to catalyze change.

“Why do people say ‘grow some balls’? Balls are weak and sensitive! If you really wanna get tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.” – Sheng Weng

Outright correction can shift attitudes and curtail behavior. But I believe we lose something with that method. You might view this jacket and see just that – black denim, rivets, thread, zippers and pink paint. But I see an approach that incorporates humor, embraces popular culture, and uses visual display as not a replacement, but an enrichment of feminist reproach. Wearing this jacket is audibly silent, but aesthetically loud. Just by being on your body, the jacket embeds its ideology into your personal style.  Passive corrections like this jacket eliminate the need for conversational confrontation; someone wearing it might not even hear “sack up” at all.