Donald Trump Accidentally Attacked by Student Coalition After Being Mistaken as a Clown
Sunday night, millions of Americans tuned in to watch Donald Trump blunder and fib through another presidential debate. The second debate, which was hosted at Washington University, was arguably not the most perilous part of the Republican nominee’s St. Louis visit, however. An hour after closing remarks, Donald Trump was mistaken as another clown in the growing “clown problem” occurring across the United States.
Trump was outside the security wall surrounding the Athletic Complex where the debate took place when the incident occurred. Eyewitnesses who saw the distant figure said it was his bright orange makeup, white ringed eyes, and conspicuous wig that led to the confusion.
Fearing danger against the safety of students, the witnesses contacted the Washington University Students Against Clowns Coalition (WU-SACC) who quickly responded, arriving on the scene in a group of over 100 students.
Trump—who was so enthralled by the “tremendous wall” surrounding Seigle Hall—says he didn’t realize what was happening until he heard cries to “Get the Clown,” and saw the angry WU-SACC mob running straight at him.
In response, Trump allegedly tried to climb over the wall, but was unable to clear the top and reach safety on the other side.
Trump sustained minor injuries from the incident, but recovered enough to later tweet in the evening: “I am no clown. I despise clowns. Rosie O’Donnell is the worst clown of all!”
This morning in an SPB press release presented in the Gargoyle, Trump said: “The World Clown Association is much smarter, much sharper, much more cunning than Crooked Hillary Clinton and the rest of the Obama administration thought. They send the bad ones into our country and we need to keep them out.”
After the press conference, Trump was supposedly overheard in the Athletic Complex locker room speaking on the phone to his old friend Billy Bush. “When I see a clown, I just gotta grab them by the big red nose. When you’re a star you can do that.”
Mike Pence has chosen to not comment on the ordeal.