The Phenomena of Gender Reveal Parties: Moving Beyond the Bounds of Pink and Blue

A family waits expectantly as a knife is held over a supposedly unassuming cake. What secrets does the buttercream hold? What sweet confection will spill out from the inner depths of the layered dessert? But as everyone peers in to see what color emerges, blue or pink, a bigger question is at hand; will the expectant parent(s) be having a girl or a boy?

This scene is typical for many Gender Reveal Parties, or as they have come to be known colloquially, ‘gender reveals’. These are events dedicated to discovering the sex —gender being a misnomer since people are only looking at biological characteristics— of the unborn child. 

Cutting into cakes is one of the milder ways in which this cultural phenomenon has manifested itself. But more extreme variations have come as a result of this viral trend.  They include fireworks, firing guns, and an explosion that even led to a massive wildfire in Arizona in 2017 that burned over 47,000 acres of land according to CNN. 

The trend has gained massive traction over the past few years, but is actually believed to have started over a decade ago. In 2008, Jenna Karvunidis threw a gender reveal party, wrote a post about it for her blog, and observed the trend grow as a result. Karvunidis is credited with being the ‘inventor’ of the gender reveal party. Shortly after in 2011, videos of gender reveals began to surface on YouTube, according to the Huffington Post. 

While Karvunidis’ party featured the aforementioned cutting into the cake to reveal pink frosting, a seemingly harmless act, some gender reveal parties have morphed into events bearing the title “Guns or Glitter,” “Touchdowns or Tutus,” and “Rifles or Ruffles,” just to name a few. 

While there are only three words in each of these titles, they leave many issues to be unpacked. Firstly, the restrictive nature of binaries that is present in gender reveal parties as a whole is harmful to individuals and children who identify as non-binary, gender non-conforming, and as transgender.  Additionally, the inherent sexism that places an achievement, for example a touchdown, in association with a man, while placing a tulle garment, a tutu, in association with a woman, is reductive and limits the perceived capabilities of the child before they are even born. It is also worth highlighting the presence of weapons both in the names of these events and also in the actual gender reveal itself (people shooting guns at targets or projectiles with colored powder), although I will not dive into a debate on firearms in this article. And as I mentioned previously, the use of the term “gender” is a misnomer because according to Oxford Dictionary, gender, beyond simply referring to a binary, refers to “a range of identities that do not correspond to established ideas of male and female.” 

Gender theorist, Judith Butler, writes “Masculine and feminine roles are not biologically fixed but socially constructed.” It’s clearly visible how these roles are being imposed onto these children before they are even born, categorizing them and prescribing them into conditioned binaries before they can make their own decisions regarding their gender identity. 

Still, amidst these problematic aspects of gender reveal parties, it is important to note that the conditions under which Karvunidis decided to celebrate the sex of her child. In an interview with The Guardian in 2019, she discussed how she suffered several miscarriages, and thus  wanted to celebrate her pregnancy. At the time she said she thought: “Oh, yay, I’m finally at a point in my pregnancy where I know if it’s a boy or a girl.” For individuals who have experienced difficulties conceiving, gender reveal parties can become a celebration of overcoming obstacles. Yet, over the years Karvundis has changed her opinions on the trend of gender reveal parties she helped popularize.

Ten years after her original blog post, Karvundis commented that her daughter, who she originally threw the gender reveal party for, now dresses in suits and doesn’t conform to traditional gender norms. Karvundis reflects that this made her reconsider the implications that gender reveal parties have on individuals who are non-binary and hopes that people will begin to reconsider the over-emphasis that is placed on the sex of their child. 

[pullquote]The restrictive nature of binaries that is present in gender reveal parties as a whole is harmful to individuals and children who identify as non-binary, gender non-conforming, and as transgender.[/pullquote]

Gender reveal parties seem to be the product of a combination of factors: people looking for an excuse to throw a party, traditional gender binaries that remain prevalent in society today, the desire to do anything that will cause a buzz on social media, and even celebrities holding their own gender reveal parties. But I encourage people to reconsider their merit. Celebrating the upcoming birth of a child brings with it excitement and anticipation for their future potential, but it should not be limited by the color frosting on a cake or the confetti from a balloon. Focus on celebrating this potential beyond the gender your child may choose to identify with in the future or their sexual orientation. There are so many possibilities for future generations. Let us prioritize how we can make our world more inclusive and supportive for them, rather than simply “pink” or “blue.”