Tag / Feeding Frenzy
-
![]()
Feeding Frenzy
Mitt Romney selected young, bright-eyed Congressman Paul Ryan as his running mate. Ryan has electrified the base with his exhilarating PowerPoints about lowering discretionary spending to 6% of GDzzzzzzzzzz…and privatizing Medicare. MEDICARE!? Uh-oh. When an old man is dying and CPR and defibrillators fail, paramedics could whisper, “they’re taking away your Medicare,” and the geezer…
-
![]()
Olympic Mania
The cameras are rolling, the snipers are on the rooftops, and the gymnastics teams have been stowed in the overhead compartments. It’s Olympics time! Mitt Romney attended the opening ceremony as he kicked off a tour of foreign countries. The trip is intended to make him look presidential, but so far, he just looks like…
-
Feeding Frenzy: Wash Your Hands
Hitler, boobs, foreskins, and the Boston Red Sox. Not in that order.
-
Feeding Frenzy: Unprintable
…The Catholic Church revised its rules for dealing with the sexual abuse of children. Abandoning its medieval ways, the Vatican directed bishops to report cases of sexual abuse to the police, lifted the statute of limitations on victims reporting abuse, ordered the defrocking of priests after they committed their first sexual assault—haha, just kidding. Actually,…
-
The Belly of the Beast: Chapter 5
[EDITOR’S NOTE: At long last, [REDACTED]’s tale comes to a close. To catch up, find previous chapters here: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4] Considering the stresses I had been put under that day, I consider what happened next to be forgivable. [EDITOR’S NOTE: At this point, Mr. [REDACTED]’s story takes a turn…
-
The Belly of the Beast: Chapter 4
[Editor’s Note: [REDACTED]’s harrowing tales continue. To catch up, find previous chapters here: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3] We drank and I kept silent until Tom peeped up, asking me, “So how are you going to do it?” “Well,” I answered, “first we need to obtain a writ of habeas corpus from an appellate…
-
The Belly of the Beast: Chapter 3
[EDITOR’S NOTE: The following is the third chapter in the increasingly outlandish chronicles of [REDACTED]’s most recent work. I’d like to think it’s fiction, but with this guy you can never really know. The first chapter may be found here, and the second here.] The man reentered the tent with a friend. The friend was…
