Tag / Feeding Frenzy
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Feeding Frenzy
As the election draws closer, this column becomes harder to write, since it’s hard to type and vomit at the same time. As we celebrate the climax of our democracy, which tears the country between left and right and those who don’t care, let’s remember that this bullshit will never end. Bill Clinton was recently…
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Virginia Tech, Unfiltered
Shortly after noon today, a police officer was shot dead on the Virginia Tech campus. Minutes later, police discovered another body in a parking garage. The campus was locked down, cutting it off from the outside world. Information trickled out via Twitter, but the tag #VirginiaTech was soon flooded by outsiders eager to voice their…
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You Might Feel A Pinch
After Herman Cain was accused of sexual harassment, his poll numbers rose and his campaign was flooded with donations. Although voters appreciated his lechery, they were ultimately drawn to somebody with more experience. The Republican party opened its trench coat and unveiled its new flavor of the month, Newt Gingrich. Gingrich claims that he will…
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Feeding Frenzy: To Infinity or Not
Mathematician Benoit B. Mandelbrot, known for his work on fractals, died this week. Wikipedia insists that his middle initial doesn’t stand for anything, but it seems far more likely that the “B” stands for “Benoit B. Mandelbrot”… ———– There was never any real chance of a Democrat stealing South Carolina Republican Jim DeMint’s seat in…
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Feeding Frenzy: Unprintable
…The Catholic Church revised its rules for dealing with the sexual abuse of children. Abandoning its medieval ways, the Vatican directed bishops to report cases of sexual abuse to the police, lifted the statute of limitations on victims reporting abuse, ordered the defrocking of priests after they committed their first sexual assault—haha, just kidding. Actually,…
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Feeding Frenzy: The Finale
Sue Lowden, the Republican frontrunner for Nevada’s Senate seat, declared that to bring down health care costs, patients should barter with their doctors. She stood by her comments, specifically proposing live chickens as a way to pay the doctor. FYI: Assuming you have prime-quality chickens, it would take 157,540 chickens to pay for a heart…
